Communication-The key

Assumptions are the termites of relationship.

In a world full of social media-facebook, instagram and snapchat we tend to know everything about other people. (Social media made us all full-time stalkers). Instead of asking someone about something and actually sharing view points on details of some events we assume things from snapchat streaks and stories.

Disclaimer: I ain’t against any social media stuffs, I myself m too indulged into that. This is a mere try to make people actually talk and be more real in real life and not on reel life.

Communication is important right from the moment we are born. With parents, with siblings, friends’ family, your spouse damn everyone. This one thing can make a relationship. But people these days will try every sort of other thing rather than simply communicate to one another. We assume things, which we are often afraid to ask. But, but, but whatever it is…..

Communicate, talk about things, the good, the bad. Build trusts. Be honest. Be faithful. Be there for one another. Make time from one another. Leave the past to the past. Know that having arguments is normal. Know that you won’t always be happy. Don’t expect change. Appreciate the flaws. Appreciate each other. Become best friends. Lastly, love each other unconditionally.

To easily forget things and initiate a conversation ain’t easy, and it doesn’t come overnight. People practice in order to remain on grounds and be the initiator of convo. So many misunderstandings, fights and what not can be resolved on a first note. You don’t always have to say sorry, simply asking and showing your efforts for a conversation can do miracles. Communication these days has become a formality.
“Hi”
“Hey”
“How are you?”
“M fine, what about you?”
“M good too!”

Is this really a conversation? I mean the person on that side of screen doesn’t really care, he/she simply pretends for sake of formality mostly. Meeting your friends daily, chatting to a long distance friend everyday ain’t a conversation, but even if you talk after 15 days, you know what exactly is going on in your friend’s life and how that person has been past 15 days. But if you keep waiting and let your ego/pride keep you from expressing how you feel, nothing will ever get fixed. You need to talk, to grow together. We often blame lack of understanding for fights, but to develop understanding you first need to communicate, talk, and know what other person has to say of the what viewpoints exists in his mind. I have heard most sensible people say after any fights or misunderstandings, “Give time, time heals everything, and things would be pretty much fine as before.” But this is probably the worst solution to solve anything. Like we spoiled things, so eventually we should be acting responsible one and solving them. Because giving time to heal things will lead to new misunderstandings and suspicions. Instead sit down, talk to each other, and argue more (cause that’s how you share your view points).

Most important thing every fight involves two or more people, single handed can do nothing. So to solve something efforts from two sides are very much required. There’s one person in a relationship who wants to talk n resolve that we term as “Emotional one”, right? After an argument with a parent, we children often don’t talk and eat and they are the one making efforts always, still we call ourselves cooler than them and they are emotional fools according to us. The only thing this whole generation needs to learn from parents is having tolerance and sacrificing self respect sometimes for some loved ones to take an initiative for communication.

This is the time you look around and make yourself less self-centered to realize how important other people are. Mere argument can’t remove the whole damn person from your life, so get up, take an initiative, apologize for taking too long and make things better before it’s all over. Remember person you love is always more important than that one misunderstanding.
“So, communicate. Even if it’s uncomfortable or uneasy.”

Journey Of A Bibliophile

Bibliophile: a lover of books, someone who finds joy and peace of mind while holding a quality book.

Not everyone gets the same electric shock when they find a brand new book in their hands, neither did I get until I found this one book, my first very book that I completed reading. Finding that one single book, that makes you read for the rest of your lives never making you feel alone is like finding a perfect match, though hard to find and stick to but once you get, life is all set!(wink, wink).

I was a person who thought life is on my finger tips, one click and I get to know the whole damn world out there. I surely was a kid and a teenager of digital world surrounded by internet. It’s like you don’t really get to know what you are missing unless someone out there tells you the benefits of things being missed. I came across a similar kind of article making me realize the advantages of reading books. I had many people around asking me to read good books, which I found to be a shear waste of time. But then I thought why not give it a shot, still thinking negative that I won’t ever complete a single book. To my surprise, I completed that Nancy Drew in a week. Here I ain’t speaking ill about the digital world cause that’s what we all live for today, but,but,but the world outside the digital world is to die for. The way authors have described a whole new world in their books gives a new perception, a whole imagination.

There is a lot going on in your mind. There’s tension & every other negativity of the world that can crush your core. And then there’s a part of you that still lives, believes in positivity and relaxes somewhere which lives to read, to explore, to imagine, getting to know new aspects. After having even the smallest taste of the wonder books can bring you, real life is so frustrating. You just can’t take your eyes off from that book because it has a grip of you held so tight. Initially you find all these so creepy, so gay, so clichéd, but as n when you get engrossed in all these fictional characters things become so easy and smooth to keep on reading. This piece of article doesn’t make sense unless one single person out there gets inspired to read more books, and trust the universe for its incredible magic. Rightly said, “You don’t choose books, books get to choose you.” The type of books you read in your initial days of reading makes a lifetime impact on your thinking process, the way you communicate and the way you look at all the situations. Hence it’s so very important to choose wisely the correct book for your soul to rest for a while. Not necessary you choose high standard books or classic pieces, start with basics. For instance, some like philosophy start with it, to make it easy go for love stories, business books etc. In a world of books you ask it and get it whatever it may be. And once you start drowning in this world there’s no coming back, you can never be satisfied then. Also books never let you feel alone may it be travelling a long route, no friends around, waiting for someone or a bad break up, books are always with you encouraging and motivating you to broaden your imagination.

In a world full of Netflix n chill, try out this books n chill and trust me its more magical, more refreshing than ever. Try out a simple common book and gradually you will be bound by its magic around you, you wanna live for it and read the rest of your life! So books do wash away the dust of everyday life, I urge everyone reading this article to please give reading a shot and encourage as many people around you.

“POWER OF SELF CONTROL”

Mastering on your own soul, controlling your own deeds, knowing whats good and whats bad for your own self is where the ultimate power lies.
As the Bible tells it, the first crime committed was a lapse of self-control. Eve was forbidden from tasting the fruit on the tree of knowledge. But the temptation was too much. The fruit was just so “pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom,” Genesis reads. Who wouldnt want that? Humanity was just days old, but already we were succumbing to a vice.

The takeaway from this story was clear: when temptation overcomes willpower, its a moral failing, worthy of punishment.

We always have a dilemma on choosing things between what gives us pleasure in a moment (which might not last long) and what makes you invest for future pleasure, almost everyone will choose things offered in a moment. Obviously world is becoming faster day by day and so are we, why wait long when we get things done in a moment? Heres where all the secret of success lies, before indulging into anything, Sit Back, analyze things, think on it whether it will matter on long term basis or will it benefit? If the thing or a person in front of you isnt going to matter or benefit you in future, owe yourself a self control. Self-control is the ability to regulate and alter responses in order to avoid undesirable behaviors, increase desirable ones, and achieve long-term goals.
Self Control isnt any one night magic, like muscles, the more you exercise self-control on a consistent basis, the stronger you get. But then there lies a magic! After getting strong on your self-control, every decision will make you feel good about you; you get your self-esteem and confidence raised. You also reinforce in your mind what you are capable of makes it less difficult to make similar decisions in life.

Improving Self-Control:
While research suggests self-control has its limitations, psychologists have also found that it can be strengthened. Effective strategies include:

Avoid temptation. This is an effective way of making the most of your available self-control. Avoiding temptation ensures that you do not “use up” your available self-control before it is really needed.

Plan ahead. Consider possible situations that might break your resolve. If you are faced with temptation, what actions will you take to avoid giving in? Research has found that planning ahead can improve willpower even in situations where people have experienced the effects of ego depletion.

Practice using self-control. While your control might become depleted in the short-term, regularly engaging in behaviors that require you to exert self-control will improve your willpower over time. Think of self-control as a muscle. While hard work may exhaust the muscle in the short-term, the muscle will grow stronger over time as you continue to work it.

Try focusing on one goal at a time. Setting a lot of goals at once (such as making a list of New Year’s resolutions) is usually an ineffective approach. Depleting your willpower in one area can reduce self-control in others areas. It is best to choose one specific goal and focus your energy on it. Once you turn the behaviors needed to reach a goal into habits, you will not need to devote as much effort toward maintaining them. You can then use your resources to achieve other goals.

Dont take Self-Control as a theory that cant be applied to reality, give it a try, it isnt that difficult! Once you know what do you seek from your life, controling yourself, and choosing between better and best for your life becomes so easy.

Bridge the gap

“Each generation imagines itself to be more intelligent than the one that went before it and wiser than the one that comes after it”.
-George Orwell
A generation gap is the difference of opinions between one generation and another regarding beliefs, politics, or values.

In current time, people of new generation are well compatible with these electronic devices, instruments and gadgets even they cannot imagine their life without these artificial things. Children get so much involved into these technical gadgets that they have no time for their parents and grandparents. On the other side, parents are so much buzy in their official and social life that they have no time for their children and elders, this kind of lonliness causes this gap. The young generation of today get their knowledge from the “internet”, and they hardly read other than light magazines, while the elders of their hard earned profound book based knowledge. This difference can be best seen in the differences of interests and the hobbies.
The generation gap is the constant struggle of the parents to prevent their kids from doing things that their own experiences and wisdom and tell them that it is going to harm. The kids on the other hand try to constantly prove to the parents that they are equipped to take control of their lives. They want to live a challenging life and do not shy away from aspiring high.
Neither is wrong: they are both right in their own premise. The parents binded by their love for the kids would rather have their own experiences replace the experience of their kids.Whereas, the kids are convinced that they are right based on the current situation.

Ways of reduction:
-Lots of communication with commitment is required. This will help in resolving issues, understanding one another’s feelings and maintaining faith.
-Much time should be spent togather. In making of decisions, every member of the family should be consulted including younger ones, it will help in building their self confidence.
-People should know that respect is a two way process. People should never hesitate to learn the same thing from different perspective. Remember it’s never too late to learn something.

People of every age have something valuable to contribute and it’s time we started taking vibes and energy from both sides instead of buying into the generational stereotypes. Being more acceptive on what elders have to say to younger and vice-versa will make this whole millenial come closer and closer. And only then there will be revolution of ideas and give the solution to every problems.

Trust the Universe, for it always conspires best for you!

“Whats meant to be will always find a way, so let go off what was and have faith on what will come!”
-BUDDHA

Arent we all today running behind only for the final outcome, the results and the consequences? In the midst of all these somehow people are forgetting to enjoy and express the ultimate gratitude for having a wonderful journey. All what people are waiting today is either for the 1st date of the month to get salary, for the month of may to get the board results declared or count on how many miles they are away from their destination. Instead can we not just enjoy the month with our colleagues and have a beautiful journey of our own employment? Can we not just enjoy our school life, the immense journey of being able to learn, seek knowledge with our friends and teachers? Can we not enjoy and be grateful for being able to be a part of that journey and explore things?

We see people in stress the sole reason is we are just focusing on outcome. Once we learn to enjoy the journey, the universe will conspire the best of it, I mean obviously how can one forget “When you unapologetically journal your visions, the universe will deliver the best!” Having Vision and setting goals is good, but spoiling the journey worrying about the same gives you stress. Have faith that whatever happens, happens for a reason, a good reason instead! And it was meant to happen, may it be good or bad, atleast you learnt things, you got experience, even you were able to find your best company from that journey. Its always good to be calculative, but it isnt good to be so negative and not trusting the capabilities beneath you. Always believe in yourself and do with all your heart whatever may it be and go with the flow enjoying each waves that takes you along, youll then get your destination. And if it takes much time to reach your goals, believe god is conspiring something better.

Havent we heard “You reap what you sow”? But no one told anyone to be happy and enjoy watering what you have already planted and automatically youll reap better. So everyone out there running behind the best results, take a pause look behind how far youve come, be grateful for that, thank god for the company you had along, and then look forward to that amazing route which is still waiting to be enrouted by you. Every minute, every single moment of that journey make it worth so by the time you get your results, you already have lived your life to the fullest to be able to cherish that result.

“Letter to the society”

Dear society,
Sometimes i’m fat, sometimes i’m thin. But at all times, it is absolutely none of your bussiness. To all the people in the society who care for me and love me, or may be just pretend to, just stop bitching me on my back in the middle of your jobless day. Because not everyone can be a zero figure barbie doll having a model-like height. Not everyone is moulded in a dollesque figure. And not everyone can be flawless absolutely, because sometimes “Daagh achhe hain!”
So the next time you exclaim that i’ve put on weight or look so thin, don’t get offended when i say that i wanted that way and i have the audacity to do noting about it! We all have different choices and that’s my choice of living. And if you still aren’t convinced, think that ‘why just girls?’ Why are the girls always subjected to be objectified and treated as nothing but a sexual relief tool. I have no idea how it doesn’t occur to you as utterly ridiculous to tell a girl to dress down and cover the body, in order to not entice the untamable sexually charged minds of teenage boys. The boys who never did learn to respect anyone. For them why is a girl taught so much?

Before judging a girl for wanting it and telling her to stay in her own limitations, let me tell you that a girl is always subjected may it be black or white, fat or thin, under-dressed or over-dressed, introvert or extrovert! So, stop putting your fair white nose in the background of my life because now it’s not the time to pull on my saree to cover the whole face, i’ll wear a crop top flauting my skin for i like it that way and i’m happy with however i look! I’m here to teach the generation coming next to do the same. To follow their heart that clearly knows better than your orthodox mindset.

It’s 21st century, yet you people live in 16th century imposing all what you think is true. Day by day world is changing and so we have to, leaving behind all those narrow-minded people who think a girl is asking or wanting for it.

Only you can knock yourself out!

“Strength does not come from physical capacity,It comes from an INDOMITABLE will”.

-Mahatma Gandhi

Everyone today talks about the regrets they feel for not doing what they wanted to do with life or not getting something they always dreamt of. People today cannot just embrace all what they have, rather piss their life off for something they lost or were not able to get!
It has always been a question of how one can start something that they left doing a long ago, but it is always said that setbacks are something disguised in challenges! Also the comeback after every setback is more fierce! If one has the will then no power of this world can ever let him down. People will say rubbish but it’s on us how we take it. Get motivated to do something more wild and major, which becomes a turning point along with giving one satisfaction of what he has done.
It’s always better to do something out of the box, getting ahead of your limitations. Only then one realizes the potential. Even when you reach your threshold, and push your boundaries, your unconsious mind will protect you from how much pain you can tolerate – and when pain is higher than your tolerance, it will create either motivation and a positive challenge mindset or give you a setback! Once you train your mind to take everything as a challenge, it becomes easier to get through all the odds. Being in your comfort zone and pampering yourself has always been an easy task, but getting a step out of that comfort zone is what one can do to empower oneself!
To strengthen yourself, one should learn to give credit to everything they come across. Somedays it’s simply getting out bed, getting dressed and fancing the day. Other days- it’s the big things.It’s major milestones in life that make you who you are.It’s the moments that define your charachter. Each time you face a flare up or a setback, you must have a perspective that this too shall pass. This will be rough but your comeback will make it all okay. The temporary struggles of life gives the opportunity and the chance to show yourself and others of what exactly you can do.
Don’t ever let the worry and the stress of your setback, stifle you from your full potential.Take that comeback on your head. Eye on the destination, And know that in those dark moments you’ll reach the better days, time and time again!
“Setbacks are actually the setup for your comeback, which only you can get through!”